Confident body language. Look others in the eye, call others by their name, generally smile or have a non-threatening look on their face, have good posture and an open stance. They appear at ease and are ready to talk to anyone. This comes across just by looking at them.
**Avoid sarcasm. **They know that it makes others feel disrespected, not to mention they appear insecure and defensive. Sarcasm tells others you can’t tolerate them or the conversation. While you may feel it diffuses uncomfortable feelings, in reality, it makes others frustrated, often wanting to avoid future interactions.
Keep their cool. No matter how heated the situation, they are able to stick to the facts and express their feelings with words rather than behaviors. No yelling, door slamming, threatening, or emotionally unregulated outbursts. They compartmentalize in hopes that they can be heard.
**Listen and validate. **They let the other person know they are being heard, giving them the same respect they hope to receive. Validation doesn’t mean you have to agree with the person; rather you are attempting to understand where they are coming from. I may not be able to understand what it feels like to have something happen, but I can be empathic with my words: “That must have been terrible. I’m sorry that happened.” It shows I am listening to them.